the m&m show...

My skull or yours?! *our car keys, thanks anne!*

Texting those who were not "picked"



We got lost! Where was our gate...what the ...could this be?!?!


Yep...we were in the right place! A place of season ticket holders and those who served us...


Hot diggity dog! what's a game without an overpriced snackeroni!?! and an over zealous....

WHALE?!...and guys with beer, and fathers with sons...

..What?! OH THE GAME...how was that...AWESOME! A real "nail" bitter hahaha...who would win who!?!? US OF COURSE!!! It was intense. And what better way to celebrate than...


Skytrain Charades! *it's me scoring the winning goal!*

I would like to take this opportunity to once again thank MAIA for making this magnificant night possible. As manty of you know I've never been to a "real" hockey game..I know...i know..but now I AM truly Canadian. It was truly a spectacular experience...anyone else want to take me to a sports game?!

And yes...the Gong did ring several times!!

the M&M show at GM place

the golden ticket.



ok after several failed attempts to upload more pictures i'm spent...i'll try again tomorrow HA. but know this ...


..i got the golden ticket adn man oh man was it grrreeeaaat *tony the tiger style*

i ACTUALLY get to sleep in tomorrow!! WHA!?!

So my life has been crazy, really like CRAZY. and i've had some ups. and. downs. HA like yesterday when I found out I really was a "lifer" at CBC...i have another full year not half a year after this one. BUT HEY "move along move along" Currently I'm SO tired, it's funny! haha. After 5ish hours of sleep I sauntered into my 8 am class then to Religious lit *LOVE IT* had a WEE nap. then had lunch with people who define the meaning of "gong show" *you know i love ya*. then went straight to an 8 hour shift at not quite barns and noble but chapters. by the end of my shift i was so tired i was hyper. THEN this could be the best part of my day I talked to a friend who is soo near and dear to my heart. honest. i would trade the whole day for a good convo with this one. and now here i be...tired as can be ....

K last weekend i fell in love with cape all over again, by hanging out with Alley, J-Rae and Joshy. *sigh* here is their model shot of the weekend. *i'll post random pics of our time together ...randomly haha*

coming soon...

an update of my life and my lovelies *yes i hung out with ally!*

it's like a pencil with erasers on both ends

thank you Emery. at this very moment friends. i'm tired. I feel lame in saying this because every college student is busy...ok well not every student. I just would really like to sit and watch a movie without any guilt of "i have so much to do" or ooh I dont' have time I gotta go to work now. I don't say that to get pity. honestly. it's just where I'm at, at this particular moment in my day.

I miss my friends. I hear from them what they did. who they saw. or their plans for the weekend. Oh yeah?! sweet. i have to work. later? no, sorry. I know i sound pesimistic. i'm sorry. just tired. dang it i should be napping not typing! but really complaining is easier to do than try to fix what your complaining about! *i had a good discussion about this in my contemporary church class, its' actually a pet peeve of mine, especially when it comes to peoples complaints on the church! but alas that is another blog*

well kids i'm gonna go shower and go to work.

OH OH ray of funshine for me though...i DO get to hang out with some very lovely people this weekend, i booked saturday off so i could spend lots of time with...ALLY, JOSH and JANICE!

Excitement has no meaning to me. FEAR has replaced it.

I have tunnel vision...


OOh it seems merely days ago *oh wait it was*, in which I was excited about reading. Looking forward to wading through my text books and going back to classes. I knew it wouldnt' last. I've only had three of my 5 classes and already I'm freaked out of my gord! I have SO much reading its not even possible, sure i'm lacking in papers but MAN ALIVE, every class so far has reading journals due not to mention like 6 books for one class! I literally have anxiety pain over it! HA! I ususally dont' stress over school stuff, really, but I don't know.

back to school...back to school..

..to prove to Dad I'm not a foul, I've got my lunch packed, my boots tied tight, i hope i don't get in a FIGHT OOOOOHHHHH....

that's right folks class is in session.

So far, I've had one class and honest I'm rather excited about it, it's a small class of 13 and it's on the Contemporary Church. Today I bought 10 books, and no lie I have to buy 6 more still! I'm gonna die, my retnas are gonna implode. That's what I get for taking two english classes and other classes in which the proffs seem to enjoy books emensly. Yet I still seem to be really excited about school...odd yes. Although I do have one dread...and that is walking up for my 8 oclock class. HONESTLY who puts OT theology at 8 in the freakin' morning! bah ha...ha...oooh.

OHOH last night, Kev was here with Dakota and about 2 minutes after they left I hear a knocking and it's Kev. "uhhh I have a slight problem...I looked the keys in my van and Dokota's inside!" ...hahahaha sure enough, I walk to the car and there is Baby D *she's 2 now* sitting almost falling asleep in her chair all buckled up ready to go. The good thing is he didnt' shut the door completely so the light remained on. Normally if you asked Dakota she would unbuckle herself, but alas she was incredibly tired and upon that request she merely started crying and asking "why daddy!" This was the only time I could stop laughing, poor little thing...anyways my bro managed to bend a coat hanger in this nifty formation that slide into the crack of the door and popped that bad boy open!

bon voyage!

a tribute...

to my "new best friend" !!






















I talked to this kid the other day, and he got me thinking of all you Capers. I miss it sometimes I really do.

ps. I loved this picture of Hitchmoe so much I had to post it!

Honestly!? MAN ALIVE!!!

...this was my reaction tonight as I recieved the news that my nephew was in the emergency room recieving a cast on his broken arm!!! ...yep that's right kids, another family member to be added on the list! It's sooo weird...I was actually really troubled by the fact that it seems that one by one my family members are being taken to the hospital but i'm doing ok now. Going to the movies really helped...

I saw "Accepted" and honestly, it made me laugh soo much, it was just a really good comedy that I didn't feel "bad" watching. So funny... hahah yeah.

Also I'm gonng start writing a book... "Jesus Loves You but Everyone Else Thinks Your An Idiot" ...I'll tell you my thoughts of today and where this tittle came from ...but that will be for another time.

two and half yes's

serious, that subject line was a lot of work!

This post is going to be one of those, I have so much on my mind, heart, and I'm full of this past weeks adventures but there is so much that non will coherently come out. So here is a wee taste of it all...

It has been a very fun week, full of great times and wonderful people. Bonfires, Settlers, Carcason, teaching Drama to youngins, my Nieces and Nephews...

...one of my favorite moments was having Dakota sleep on me after a long day of play and being able to rub her back as she struggled to sleep while coughing. Children are so precious. Some other awesome moments were watching Ella, Rye and Isaac play with my youth and then my friends.

It's also been and "interesting" week...as you have probably read, last week my Dad broke his foot. In the following days my sister had to go to emerg. because of a flue that absolutly wrecked her glands, and my sis in law got severe hives and had to be taken to emerg. twice! Both are fine now but it was just a little crasy. Then a couple of days ago my mom told me that my Grandma had cancer again, it's in her liver, possibly somewhere else *i can't rember where* she seems to be doing ok with it, she is soo strong but it's actuall my grandpa who i'm worried about. He's been drinking again and just does not sound good.

at points this week i've had to just go "what!?!" and either laugh or be still.

It continued with some confusing things but I know they too will be sorted out. . .

I've been trying to work on my conversational skills, because some people are amazing at it, and I, well I feel that I could use some work. The beauty of it is I dont mind silence...but it has the possibility of making people awkward.

i'll end with something that makes me smile.

ER the real thing almost as entertaining as the show?!?!

So today I arose earlier than I tend to one a friday *or anyday really* in the summer and scuffled off to prayer for the youth. When I came home I read then had a nap *ahem*. Ok this is already taking to long...Today my dad feel of a ladder, we spent like 4 hours in the ER and discovered that he had broken his foot. You may think wow, four hours in the hospital boring but OH NO! It was a "quiet" day so there really wasn't much for the nurses to do so it was quite entertaining watching them dote over my dad and discover what a "jones cast" is...aparantly it doesnt' get used anymore but dad was special. Also, it came to my attention that all the doctors I saw today were male, foreign and cute bah ha *bet you didn't expect that one from me eh!...it's just an observation* Then I came home, "babysat" my well drugged father until me momsies got home then jet off to work an hour late. Yep that's my dad. If you could pray for my Dad that would be awesome, he's now in a great deal of pain and also he won't be able to head back to work anytime soon which will be very very hard on him. Pray that God would use this time to teach my Dad to lean on him and that this time of frustration would turn into a time in which my Dad would finally come to know God loves him.

Bravo! BRAVO!!

There is a Shakespeare Festival in Vancouver called Bard on the Beach. I FINALLY got to go to one of their productions. On saturday some of us went and saw A Midsummer's Night Dream. OH MAN ALIVE it was soo amazing! Honest I haven't laughed that hard at a play in a long time if ever! They did a brillant job, not mucking with the origanal text but adding modern aspects and their own flare where apropriate! *The backdrop is the landscape of Van. the mountains and ocean*It was a lot of fun. Before hand Janny, Maia, Mel and I met up with Rye and Thanney and just hung out at Granville Island. I really like Vancouver I should spend more time there. Also i should really take advantage of the theatre scene in Van.



...and yes we found another hat store!!!

FoR tHe NeXt TwO wEeKs ThIs Is My ShAdOw!

I heart randomness!

This past week I was at Rough Acres Bible Camp wwwaaaaay up northern B.C. It was an awesome week, in which the presence of God was strong and I spent a great deal of time alone with the Lord on the dock. I LOVE camp. We did a boys camp and it was interesting for me to be support staff and NOT be a counsellor but it was still flippin' radicule. We meet a bunch or rad people, reunited with those from the past and it was truly a blessing. I dressed up tons for skits and games...it was awesome. I was the master villian, the russian spy, and super girly russian spy.

I was gonna put some pics of camp and some random stuff since i've been home but alas it's being silly so more of that later....

I've haven't been home very much since i got back from camp, mostly because my house is empty and so after i had breakfast with some friends this morning i was all like i'll just go home and chill...it's been a couple hours and well i'm pretty much bored to the point of i can't even write so i'm gonna take a nap! hahaha excellent!

Dutchville, WA. USA

YAY random days in Lynden, USA. My friend Liz, JUST moved to Lynden from Seattle *she goes to TWU during the year* and a couple of days ago Maiers, Janny and I went to spend the day with her. It was a fun filled day that included, wandering the crazy dutch town that Lynden is, becoming seniors and joining the red hat crew, wooden shoes, dutch blitz *i bought it there hazzah!!*, a wee park, fake laughing turned to real work out the ab laughter, rad meals, fudge, and amazing friends.



I've had some awesome hang out times with my friends in the last week or so and it just reminds me of how truly blessed I am that they are in my life for longer than a blink of an eye. Hahaha, last night i was called "one of the guys". it made me laugh.

confusion leads to camping!

I went camping this weekend with some friends, hahah after three trys we found a campsite at Chilliwak lake *yes this means nothing to you i'm aware* i'd never been there and was pleasantly surprised by the beauty of it. Here are some random pictures for ya.




I had time to finish the Velvet Elvis this weekend as well...pick it up.

back with a new appeciation for Queen...

So i got home last night around 9ish...man alive long drive!! I had an amazing time *i was building homes in mexico for those too lazy to scroll down ;) *

I'm really tird and have to wake quasi early so i'm gonnna do some highlights in point form:

• seeing God answer prayers, like bladder control on the way down
• watching God work through the youth while down there
• having tons of memories flood back into mind as soon as i crossed the border
• falling in love with mexico once again
• recieving the largest smile from the woman we were building the house for EVERYTIME i walked by her. *which was a lot*
• Donas Tutti!!
• coconut fruit bars
• swimming with sharks *litterally!! talk about crap my pants batman!!*
• Surfing for the first time!!! *seperate day than the sharks*
• watching the baywatch boys run on laguna beach *i dont think i've ever laughed that hard! ok that's a lie but soo funny!!*
• getting hyper and steamrollin' the youth girls hahaha!
• cultivating deeper relationships cross generationally and with my youth
• inventing "nurf ball" the sweetest backseat game ever!
• spanish church based on philipians 1 and 4. "we all have our prisons but they can't cage us in when we have a purpose and a mission for our life" *paraphrase of the message*
• having a dance party while doing dishes
• spending time with the Lord while watching a giant mexican flag fly over the city
• having an old western photograph taken at knotts berry farm *it was decent don't you worry*
• being an "adult" now and not having to obey curfew PLUS leading a group down into the city...seriously when did this happen!
• getting to see ANNE! A friend that lives in Ontario but who was in aneheim! *she drove all night just to see us off in the morning from our hotel!*
• hearing God being praised in another language
• watching the exchange of a key and a heartfelt thankyou...the dedication of the homes

Alrighty thats what is coming out at this point...i'm sure there will be some more random stuff later or an expansion of some of this but for now i must say adious! austa leuga!!

Gone...

to mexico for two weeks to build houses.

went and saw...

and it gets two ...

I totally enjoyed "Click" I couldn't stop laughing in the beginning and it even made me cry!! I cried watching an Adam Sandler movie. I had a huge crush on Adam *yes we're on a first name basis* when i was in grade nine...ok ok i'm not going to lie i still totally dig him!!

go see it its sweet...

**it's an adam sandler movie therefore not all scenes are apropriate for your little sister but it is suprisingly clean**

the climb

you must begin somewhere. why not here. you've been here before? thats ok, you'll probably be back. don't be afraid. exactly. little steps. or leaps. you choose. sometimes it'll feel like you're going to fall. you might. it's ok though. honest. you have to begin somewhere.


I've been reading The Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell *founder of Mars Hill Church* I'm sure many of you have heard about it if not read it. So far I'm totally enjoying it. I read it with my bible out and reference all the scriptures he uses. It's filled with intreguing thoughts and ideas, many i've thought before but they are put clearly and some are a new perspectives which are eagerly recieved.

One thing thats been rad is just seeing God in the little things <> Bell calls them "Holy moments" and when i read this section i was like that is exactly what i'd experienced while holding my 2 year old neice while she slept or listening to the summer leaves being parted by the warm breeze. it's moments like these that make me smile with praise on my lips.

a strike, a pain, and a fear.

three things on my mind currently...

1. "a strike" to share the joy of being able to strike something off my "to do before i'm forty" list: PAINTBALL. Yep I did it FINALLY, it was a lot of fun! We took some youth on saturday and it was good times, a tad crazy the dude basically passed us guns, made us wait around for a long time, gave us bullets then sent us out! I was like how do you shot!? Pull the trigger...but no rules or anything! I got a nice welt right on the gluteous maximus, it hurt to sit for a day or so hahaha, plus a few other welts and bruises, good times though.

2. tonight i tried skateboarding with some of my youth girls... that is were " a pain" comes in. I fell. on both attempts. the first one i was just trying to turn and BAM, bailed. haha. the second i was showing them how to do an aweley *SP?!?!* i mean i could do one when i was 6! ... yeah not so much anymore. that time i totally fell on my side and that my friends was painful!

3. "a fear"...well tonight was interesting because i was walking home and met up with one of the youth gals, who was trying to get home via bus but it wasn't coming so i took her naturally...LONG story but it ends with me hoping htat her and another gal will get to there destination saftley and wiht the know of their parents. i left them at one of there houses, but i dont know if they will stay there...yeah, it's just scarey, the youth are so different than i was. i love them and fear for them and what they do and the choices that they make...i coudlnt' imagine being a parent HONESTLY!

well that's all for now, i have to go to bed it's late and i have to be up early to go to preschool...youngin's too young to decieve just yet.

They don't lie!

It really is the Happiest Place on Earth!













This was from my trip last month. *SIGH* did you know Lisa O. works there?!! Aparantly that totally slipped my mind but i totally randomly bumped into her! She's livin' my dream, as part of the Disney team. BAH HA . Oh yeah that's my niece, Sierra...honestly so cute and funny...a little odd at times, her parents blame me! tee hee

NEW HAIR!

On a random wime today i went and got this done. red with darkbrowinshblack underneath...

the world isn't all chocolate and marshmellows because of one day...

but it is good because of One God.

You see kids it's not as if my brokeness has become whole, or that "it's all good in the hood" and my relationship with God is perfect or everything lost is now restored. BUT. it's good because of the one who created it.

The last two weeks of youth have been awesome. Last week during small group I just really connected with the kids ...get this playing big booty! haha it's a great game...and the night ended with relationships stronger. then this week one of or grade 12 girls gave the "talk" she's actually the pastor's daughter, and it was amazing the kids listened, if you knew my kids you'd understand why this is amazing!

SO shot my first wedding ever. I took the photos at my cousins wedding on saturday. i really hoped she likes them, they are on there honeymoon so they haven't seen them yet. i was pleased how they turned out i mean gosh it was my first wedding. and maybe my last haha

hmmm what else.

oh since i wasn't really in themood to share some pics of disneyland i can do that now....

ok so it's not working and i'm too impatient for it to work so i'll try again later

night kiddos

not hurt enough to be numb but getting close

hey guys, i really don't want to sound depressing or be a downer, for all should know that it is one of my least favorite things in the world. the thing is though. i'm just sad. Disneyland was awesome, soo fun and I loved it. a haitis from my real life. I got home monday night and on tuesday had a minor breakdown realizing that I am walking the edge of my chosen path and it sucks. then tonight before work i found out that a guy i went to school with died on sunday. it's just so hard. life is really not an easy thing at times. part of me wants to laugh, have fun and encourage but the other part is so broken, confused and in need of the courage and support.

sue gilmore wrote a card to me before outreach with this in it "cast your cares onto the lord and he will sustain you" psalm 55(?) prayer needs to become who i am once more.

OK so it's been a rough couple weeks, i'm not going to lie! BUT this weekend my sisinlaw had a baby boy first name Hayden..middle names...Austen and Heinz *it was her dad's name* Hayden makes me an aunt sixes time over now!

PLUS i'm going to DISNEYLAND in 3 SLEEPS...TWO DAYS!!!

The week...

It's been a really rough week....
On tuesday my bear *actually my cat* was hit by a car, he was only like a year old and AMAZING. I'm not going to lie, it sucked hard core.
On Wednesday I found out that my old Dance Teacher, a friend to my sister and mother, who had been battling cancer, passed away. Death is such a hard thing to grasp.

But it ended or is ending in jubilation...
My Sister(in law) is at this very moment in labour!!

Lord be with all who have lost and all who will gain.

An outpour...

i measure the year not on dates but on occasions. this year is over. i measure success by happiness. this year was a failure. i measure joy by happiness, by finite things that melt faster than my fudgsicle on august the third. as i look at still shots of people i know, i judge there happiness on outside things, not on the image of there soul written in their eyes. they are happier than i. i know the truth yet it disapates in the depth of my own thoughts. the pleas to myself to shake the cobwebs formed around my prayers go unheard while distractions become a way of life. a whisper of truth finds its way to the ambigious nature of my thoughts and threatens to break away the rusting deception. a welcomed threat.


*****


Not wanting to be a burden. I carry my own load. Not wanting to go outside of who you think I am. I carry my own load. A cyclic cycle of deception. I hurt you. I hurt me. Not wanting to bring on worry. I carry my own load. Not wanting to bring false witness I carry my own load. A pang of regret fills my heart. Where was I during those happy moments. Lost within myself wanting to remain strong. I carry my own load. Often it leaked out . This deception gone to far. You saw the real me. A glimpse of broken pottery strewn across the floor. Not yet retrieved yet hastily put together so the show can go on. Don’t look. work in progress. Why do I think I must be cement instead of porcelin. Here I am. Blown glass. Fragile. Broken. Here I am.

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you.Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible.While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks.Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

BRING ON SUMMA!

I'm Done Exams! HAZAH! This means i'm done schoool for this semester....for the whole summer!! Four months without school...oh praise the Lord oh my soul PRAISE THE LORD!
Yes well that's all I have for now. sorry to my dearest american friends whom are still strugglin' through, you can make it!!

Work time!

Snap shots of joy

OH HAPPY DAY(S)!!

Due to last weekend i have a new picture as my background on desktop...


Last weekend I drove down to Portland (5.5 hours). I got to see some of my most precious friends of all time. Friday night, allison, pam and thier friend Josh *A. yes it is Calebs brother but i don't think he likes being referred to as that. but the fact is he is.* went to meet Danny, Evan and Meredith for dinner at Rock Bottom!!! OH MAN, you seriously have no idea how excited I was to see all these awesome folks again! OK OK you do. Anyways I will try not to rub in it much more. I love these kids so much. And I miss them even more than i did before seeing them again. Too short of a visit i tell ya. there was so many things though that made me smile. like spiced tea, or or popcorn with seasoning salt(!?!) but most of all it was my friends. *I can't figure out the layout for the pictures so they are in no particular order*

i heart pamela schnake

this past weekend i had the amazing blessing of hangin out with my cape. roomy, you may know her, pamela? you do? awesome! She's rad hey!? Heck yes she is!!
i hadn't seen her in a year. phsyco i know. anyways it was awesome. we talked a lot. reminisced (yes pam i sure did you dictionary.com) of cape. days and our jr.high experiences at punk shows. talked in sign language. danced in the EA parking lot. ate way too much indian food. ate chocolate cake while watching RENT on her laptop. talked some more. yeah...all this to say i had a great time and seeing ms. pamela joy made me really really miss those whom i loved at cape and even those whom i didnt' get a chance to love. it was a great time. it really was.

ok so i know that pam has this picture on her blog but it's soo stinkin' cute I had to put it on mine! It's of Pam playing the sleep game with my niece Dakota *she's so funny for a two year old and bugged us for like 45 min, she wouldn't let me play though, only pam could play the sleep game*

the silent image of a child. holds more power than words. unspoken innocence illuminates your iris. gather the pieces. form an everlasting picture. this is joy perminalty a part of my memories.

confessions of a GEEK drama queen.

ok. how many times can one person lose a fully written blog. oh oh. a lot. yes my friends i did lose another one and yes i was proud of it. crappit anyways. well i'm tired. don't want to re-write the whole thing. so. i'm glad to report that the play is done. yes in case you didtn' know i was in a play at school. so that means that my life can get back to a "normal" hectic lifestyle. instead of a "i dont have time to smile" hectic life style. ok ok my dearests. i did have time to smile. and i did infact smile. i was exaggerating. anyways. yes. i'm glad it's over. i had a lot of fun working with the other cast and crew. doing a play is generally just rad all around. but it was a lot of time. that i didn't really have. plus i dont know. it was hard for me to really get into it. i played a young girl which is fun. but nothing really difficult you know. and yeah. whatever. but yeah ok. so i am rambling and i said i was tired. which i am. can you tell. ok. well. no matter how silly the play i love being on stage and will do anything to be on it. ok ok. again. exaggerating. before this thing was over. i was like man. school. work. a play. youth. too much to do and never again shall i. but now that i'm done it. i'm like sign me up for next year! BAH when will i learn. never. mmmm ok!
anyways i'm just going off now and really should stop before i embarrass myself or say somthing that i truly dont' mean to say or .......yeah. ok. well cheers for now.

my day.
it snowed.
wrote a 25% paper.
it started to rain.
half hour later all snow gone.
i phoned bank.
told last check was in limbo.
overcome by frustration.
overcome by everything.
i cried.
not about money.
found money.
in student loan account.
didn't relax.
went to work.
began feeling better.
started laughing.
it snowed.
i drove home slowly.
it's still snowing.
here i am.
fine.
really.
life is hard at times.
it ends.
he remains.

everytime i glance at a canvas i have an urge to express my self through vibrant to dull oils; every photograph ignites a yearning to capture the perfect shot; everytime i hear a voice call out in harmony, a guitar sing, a drum be struck, i want to dealve into composition. I want to dance my emotions, write my fears and compete my burdens away. the stage cradles my creativity.


Everytime I see/experience an art form I am drawn to it and want to participate.





Highlight of my weekend: watching the ulitimate fights with my brothers and dropping and stepping on my communion cracker.