Yep. It's time, the good ol' wait 6 months or so and then remember a little thing called the blog. I don't even care if no one reads this, its' so fun for me to go back through the years and see what I randomly wrote. And sometimes it's easiest to do list.
So current things:
is not getting anything done in zee office...I blame, Ashton, Kelly Clarkson and A.D.D
twitter ...for those too lazy or 'distracted' to blog...
Last Album bought: Ray LaMontagne "God willin' & the creek don't rise"
In my DVD player: How I Met Your Mother season 5
Bible Reading: Romans & Psalms
Concerts: Michael W. Smith Christmas tour (I'm taking my mom!) & Justin Bieber (HA! I'm taking a youth who's mom didn't want to go!)
Current read: Book 3 of the Mark of the Lion series.
Current Fav shoes: Red Toms...
Celebrity Crush: Zachary Levi, Adam young
Say to much: "cool beans" "air high five"
Time: 12:49 am.
Doing: writing this, sitting on the wingback chair, talking on FB chat, wasting time...
want to learn: guitar, drums, japanese, sign language...
Oh man, this is one of the most fun band wagons I've been on.
I'm talking about Vancouver 2010 winter Olympics!
Is it as big everywhere else in the world?!?!
I feel like this is all we're living and breathing here in BC, and I'm not going to lie I like it! It's so much fun! I have yet to be right downtown, but that shall change this weekend.
I was watching when my good buddy Alexandre Bilodeau took the God medal for men's freestyle skiing, moguls (which I can never say and end up saying muggles heh heh) breaking the "curse" of Canada unable to win Gold on home soil. Epic moment, seriously.
I've almost cried so many times.
I've downloaded "I believe" because I was tired of hearing snip its all the time. And I actually like it.
I've based a talk and had an Olympic Madness night for the youth.
I've gotten the red mitts.
I've laughed at commentators witty comments like "Ho Hum another Olympic title for Shaun White"
I've discussed the games with strangers, topics such as the torch (the lack of visuals, the mechanical failure etc), the uncanny warm winter, the ease of traffic, the free shows, the different country houses, the crazy mascots and sidekicks (yes we have a sidekick!)....
This weekend I'm going to see Wintersleep and Sam Roberts for free. I'm gonna brave the crowds, sing loudly, cheer unfailingly and take major amounts of pictures.
Yes, I'm excited. I'm fully of Joy and energy....
Lord I pray that this sort of excitement would be found in you. May I seek you as much as these athletes push for those medals. You are what I believe in and you are my source of life.
My friend Cheri, has been planning a suprise since my birthday as my gift. She said keep Feb.13 open and you'll need an up to date passport. So I naturally came to the conclusion that we were going to Seattle for some reason and tonight, the cat was let out of the bag....
We're going to hear Rob Bell on his latest speaking tour!! I'm SO stoked, Bell is obviously gifted, and velvet elvis remains one of my favorite. Of course I don't agree whole heartedly with Bell on everything, and may have some questions about some of his theology, however I'm totally looking forward to it WOOP!!
So yes. I'm a little sad that I found out only a day before I was going, but whateves it will be sweet!
That line from Shakespeares Richard III popped into my head as I sat on a cold damp bench chatting with a fellow middle school pastor and friend. She's been feeling very discontent and longs for adventure, and well that's exactly how I've been feeling for the past...well long while. And that phrase seemed to encompass how I was feeling. I sure pray it is just a season, such as winter and that it too shall pass soon.
On the flip and some what more chipper side, the sun was out today and it didn't fade after 5:23! Oh man YAY.
I just have to push through Feb. and I'll have lots to look forward to. NYC in March, Muse, Owl City and Calgary road trip in April, Hawaii Missions trip in June and Creation Fest in July! WOO WOO!
I hate how people can effect me so, I have a deep running fear of failing, disappointing people and not being liked or well thought of. I feel peopled moods like you can feel the chair your sitting in, I take it on as my own and multiply it. It's not always a bad thing, but it does mean that I'm hurt easily, feel like I've failed over minor things and get anxiety quickly over silly things.
This was all brought on by an undoubtable sucky situation but I don't feel that I should feel as "GAH" about it as I do.
We have small groups at youth, we meet every third week or so, and my leaders are to call and let the youth know where the are going. It's always been a bit of a struggle to make sure that everyone is calling all the youth and knowing where they are etc. But that is not the cause of this GAHness.
We had a family begin to go to our church and after three months of their children going to sunday school the mother emailed about getting her kids plugged in at youth. They've been coming out since the beginning of Jan. Due to scheduling we've had 2 lifegroups within a month. And I forgot to re-email the leaders an updated copy of their youth, so this particular youth did not get called, two, apparently three times. I found out last time, apologized and said that I would make sure the youth was on the list, I did, he was on the list. But that list didn't get sent out.
So this night comes rolling around, I'm running late, opening doors, running around when the younger sibling of this youth tells me that no one phoned for the youth. I ran to the car to give the address to the mom. She was livid. Understandably, I'd be upset if my kid wasn't called for the third time in a row and was hurt by this. I apologized and said that I forgot to give the leaders their number, she didn't' accept that and went off on my leaders and -that they should know they don't have one of their youth's numbers and ask me for it. The youth has had a rough go at school with feeling rejected and now she said that he's been rejected by the youth group and that he'd probably never come back, and that we'd lost him. He gets it at school, he shouldn't get it at church, and these leader should be leading and displaying Christ.- I was hurt. Big time. I can understand that for the youth it would be really really hard, and I was disappointed in myself for not given the leader the number. It was a huge oversight, and I truly am sorry, however I don't think I should have been made to feel that way. They have to drive like 25 min to get to the youth which is a double crap. She said that if he didn't want to come to youth, then we'd lost the other youth and they wouldn't be going to the church anymore. Ouch. So now I feel that I've failed my whole congregation, and that I've hurt a youth beyond repair. Not cool. I'm not writing this to slander the parent, they have a right to be upset and hurt, however, I don't know. I need grace too and it's hard to feel that when you've been crushed. It's hard because it was so unintentional, and it doesn't display my heart or my leaders hearts for these youth. It's nights like these I feel like a failure. (I know I'm not no worries, and GOd has brought me here with a purpose and will see me through) Lord give me compassion, strength, and wisdom.
Thanks blog, for letting me vent. Thanks Lord for being bigger than this.
Last night was the girls all-nighter at youth. We had 33 girls and 6, well 7 leaders including me. It was a lot of fun, and had some good connecting points with various youth.
My heart for these young girls is that they would truly see how beautiful God created them, that they have worth in Him. There are a few as well that just hound on each other, almost weekly I have to talk to them. I need wisdom in this situation, because it can't go on like this. They hurtful things that they say will stay with them for their lives. If you ask almost anyone I'm sure they can remember something hurtful that someone said to them when the were in gr.6-8. It's so sad.
It's fun to these events, because I get to do things that I love to do and can't always. Like have crazy dance party's! It was a really fun night, I got a friend to come in and teach hip hop for an hour, we played crazy all around the church games, had a mini campfire that included, worship, a story, mini devo and camp songs! We watched a movie at 1:30am, we had random dance parties (whenever I played girls just want to have fun) and we hopefully formed memories that will last forever.
There are moments when i just miss being a youth leader and the freedom in that to devote your attention to the youth, and forgo all the responsibility of dealing with parents, details and such.
But I'm diggin' my role, and am thankful that I am where I am.
y mind drifted into sleep by like 10:53 or something. Then I got a text at 11:15....
Normally that wouldn't be a bad thing, I would m
erely turn over and fall back asleep. EXCEPT. I find if I am woken up like 15-2omin after I've fallen asleep I can't merely drift back into glorious sleep! As I tossed and turned trying to rid my mind of all the stuff that flooded my mind my phone rang! Arg, didn't know the number, they didnt' leave a message...I'm gonna 411 it. So yes, then I got up, went pee, got a few bowls for the girls all-nighter I'm planning for youth that I had thought about while trying to wrestle sleep, went back to bed, tossed and turned, rolled my eyes in frustration, turned on my light, read, and now I'm here.
Anyways I don't mind that people text or called, reall
y, because normally I would totally still be awake. It's just that I was so tired. and my plan failed. Thus my facebook reads "
the only problem with a night owl going to bed early is
Shhhh. I should be sleeping, but I snuck on the internet to rediscover my blog. Don't tell my tomorrow morning self because she'll be mad when she's ridiculously tired at 6:45!
So it's been six months since I've written, wow, freakin' eh. Time flies. *Sigh*
It's odd really, how fast it goes. Just disappears. *poof*
Here is are some things that are "Current" in my life:
Currently listening: to Dashboards newest album "After the ending", just picked it up today, already a fan. (Current as in the last month: Glee soundtracks, one republic, muse, switchfoot, owl city, paper tongue.)
Currently reading: HP & the philosopher's stone. Just finished "The Outsiders" and am about to embark on an adventure through other High School Curriculum classics.
Currently watching: Nothing quite yet. Just finished watching Season 3 of Heroes: I just wanted to give Sylar a hug the whole time, through my hands up and yell "YATTA!"
Currently planning for work: Girls All-nighter at youth, we're having a campout...tents, fake fire and trees and the whole shabang in the gym. Talk on the OT = Epic Stories.
Current hair: Short inverted bob, dark with blonde chunk.
Current age: 26... taking some time to get used to that one.
Current travel plans: March - NYC. May - Missions to ...wait for it...Hawaii.
Current favorite Restaurant: Earls! I had a personal vendetta against Earls since like gr.10 however this was broken upon trying them again in Dec. and discovering there chicken, bree, apple, fig jelly sandwhich!
Current Facebook Status:
should probably not watch anymore HSM. She had TWO dreams about Zac Effron last night...
Current Tweet: Listening to Dashboards latest and ignoring my tired eyes. 25 minutes ago
Current Fear: Failure...
Current Lesson: That no matter how solid a youth is - solid family, loves God, serves etc - they're still in need of guidance, prayer and love.
Current battle: Feeling like I'm called to be grounded for a time such as this, yet desiring to be off having a distant adventure.
Current status: Single. I'm not the type to put my life on hold because I'm not married, nor do I feel that my life or ministry is incomplete because there is not a solid man by my side YET I pray that there would be one there soon.
Current shoe of choice: Zebra print Sanuk's
Current Sweater of Choice: purple/white stripped AA sweater
Current Magazine: Relevant
Currently have tickets for: Muse (April.1), Owl City (April 2)
Amount of sleep I'd get if I went to sleep in 45 min = 4.75 hours.