Oh sunshiney day!

So i could complain about the fact that in the past 3 days i've spent about 45 minutes at home. and today i delegated 8 more of my hours awayBUT i wont' because well it's not a big deal because it's not!

Honest i feel that God has been working so much in the last week or so. it's crazy really...

I'm preparing a talk for my Preaching to Youth Class...*it was moved to next tuesday PRAISE BE!* and it's on "hearing God" and well, it seems that is the hot topic of my life...

I've told you about the question my prof. askes in two classes...and then the illustrations and there is also a book i'm reading for my Prayer Ministry class by an abotsford guy "Can you hear me?" and it's on listening to God.... So all that has been helping me with the talk....and then on the radio yesterday i heard a guy preaching on the will of God and ultimitly hearing from God.

it's been so rad putting this thing together although frustrating and confusing at times i feel that i keep getting more and more ideas and yeah, i'm excited. if for nothing else the mere fact that I am hearing from God again...well i hsould say i'm listening to God again.

Tonihgt while reading at starbucks.., can i just interupt myself and say i love reading in coffee shops!... there is a part of the previously mentioned book called tuning in. we have to do some of them for class but i was just reading through one we didnt and it posed questions you could ask God, just random ones and one was "when was the last time you cried over me?" I thought i heard "I missed you" and my response was "I'm here again" then i heard "i know my child, i know".... I dont know, i'm willing to accept the fact that it was me just saying it all...but i feel that it applies becaues i had stopped listening for God, i had stopped letting him in my everyday living and the last couple of days i've felt awake to the Spirit of God ...and it's been ...refreshing.

now for some Oscar Wilde

Impression: Le Reiveillon

The sky is laced with fitful red.
The circling mists and shadows flee,
The dawn is rising form the sea,
Like a white lady from her bed.

And jagged brazen arrows fall
athward the feathers of the night,
And a long wave of yellow light
Breaks silently on tower and hall,

And spreading wide across the wold
Wakes into flight some fluttering bird,
And all the chesnut tops are stirred,
And all the branches streaked with Gold.

oh white ninja...

Dispensationalism

i heard that a lot in Issues in Hermenutics today *yawn* sorry Mr.Y

I have a few running "titles" for this post:

- everythings is an illustration

- a thousand thoughts per minute

- *sigh*/ YAY/ *sigh*/YAY

- WARNING EXTREMELY LONG POST FULL OF RANDOM THINGS...

hahaha, I have so much on my mind and heart and I feel like there is NO time to share it with anyone or anything *my journal* instead i try to pound some of it out on here....

Everything has become an illustration for me lately, for preaching to youth Ron has encouraged us to see the everyday things in our life and events of our life as illustrations to use in our talks...man alive my brain won't stop thinking in that way! EVERYTHING is becoming useable...not that i'm complaining we have to have a crap load by the end of this semester

Another proff. Doug, in pastoral practices asks us every class "what has God been doing in your life?" ....huh honestly when asked that i dont have a reply...yet God is ALWAYS active and always talking, i jsut have to be open to seeing him and listening to him...so this too has taken a whirl in my noggin!

I have my first "sermon/talk/whatever you want to call it" next thursday in class...and really not a crap load of timt to pull it together! *breath and release*

I really love praying for other people, this was made even more evident to me today, yet when it comes time to really pray into my own life and seek direction and repentance all that jazz, i tend to clam up and definatly not listen

I heard a lot about repentance today which got me thinking about how often we're inwardly focused and only see sin as consequences to us and how we have to confess so we can feel better and us us us...but what about God, think about how it pains God. I dont ever think of that, and as a confession i dont offten think about how sin effects my relationship with him or what i need to work on. I usually just talk talk talk away...

I've been getting pumped about ministry...honest ahhh

I feel way too spread out, my life is dispersed in every which way and i have no real sense of where i am half the time, am i in fort langley? abby? langley? with who am i with? what am i doing? what's my purpose? i have a meeting when?... my weeks just blend together as a ceasly wheel...i need a sabbath.

I had the FREAKIEST experience at the pool yesterday, thank God *for real* that Mel was there with me. long story *not really* but made really short. I didnt' eat much, did too many laps, went in the hot tub, got delirous, felt like i was going to die or pass out at the least. BUT i'm still here and i didnt' pass out.

I got great mail the other day....A letter from Hawaii *thanks JAN!!* a post card from Edinburgh *Thanks dan!!* and a package from alberta *thanks AMY!!*

i'm starting my internship soon, another 8 hours out of my week...hoenst where is it going to come from!? ha still have to talk to jay about the whole internship...hmm.

i love that my friends can come over and watch a movie in my room *on billy..my laptop!!* and i can go and do homework and they're totally ok with it.

God is so good, honest.

This year, CHANGE, reoccuring yes, and today God confronted me on well...stuff still needs to change, i may have stepped in the right direction but i am still way off the mark ...

hmm well...that's a few of my random thoughts of today...typing is so much faster than writting for me...

one of the things i was confonted with is being "so busy" with everything is ok, but putting it all before God ...hmmm not so ok hey? yet here i am...

"i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" - i've watched this movie twice ...well once and a bit in the last week. A hug, for the first person who can tell me where it comes from....MAIA and MEL are DISCLUDED*! * you get a hug anyways*

12.09 and so much on my mind.

sometimes lists are so much easier:

home group got me thinkin...

• as Gods children we box ourselves and try to make ourselves fit into the "stereotypes" of the good christian "male" or "female"
• if we get stuck in stereotypes of what christians are to be like what is the outside world getting stuck in
• i definatly don't fit into stereotypes
• even though the word "authentic" is being thrown around like no tomorrow it is a really key issue that must be lived out in our faith and our lives with eachother and the world around us
• peter was a great guy who i can relate to, he messed up, he struggled....
• peter is a guy that i can learn from...he had a living hope that became the instructor and outcome of his faith...

School got me thinkin....

• giving a youth talk is way more work than i would like it to be but that preparation is vital
• i'm not in a school frame of mind
• i love sitting by windows in class ...some great distractions...
• ministry is so dynamic and really exciting
• i have been given some amazing ministry opportunities that i've approached with mediocracy...

life has got me thinkin' ....

• no matter how much time you have it is never enough
• relationships are an amazing blessing and need to be continuously cultivated
• aspertaime *apsertaine?...i'm too lazy to go to dictionary.com* is disgusting
• it is easy to jump to conclusions...
• prayer has to be a way of life
• what would Christ' mannerisms be?
• i can't visit everyone that i want too in the next few months...but san.fran. is sounding like a great possiblitiy
• being "interested" in someone can be a daunting task
• i'm spending too much in the car alone, without my cd player
• i'm a fan of hugh grant...my sis and bro in law got me notting hill for my b-day...love it!
• i miss the sun

this feeling...

..it's good.

.A spider of a thought has coursed it's fragile web in my being
it's beautifu.l
.it was meant to be.
it's not scary.
it's not ugly.
it is hope of change.
.an excitment fills in the webs holes
layer by layer increasing it's strength.
.a barren cave .
now consumed with an indescribable ......
.the Lord.

This is me at age 23.

...ok I just lied this was taken a few days before I turned 23. But what the heck hey!

I had a good birthday day. I usually hate birthdays because to be honest I hype them up when i know nothing is going to happen. But i had a really good one. it was just a good day. I got up and had an eye appointment at 9:15, my eyes are still progressively getting worse. I picked out new frames and will be picking them up hopefully friday!! Then I did a couple errands liek going to the bank and buying stamps. Meanwhle I got a phone call from maia, a text from nicole, a text from rysu and a call from Ben. All wonderful birthday wishes. I went for sushi with maia, great birthday treat! then headed to school. after school i went out with me mom bought some veggies and a "healthy" cake. then i had a blast at church with some great friends learning about 1 peter, it gave me a taste of what school with my "core" friends would be like...two words...gong. show. hahaha then i was like HEY we should go to a movie. So i sped home ate some of the oddest cake i've ever had and headed to the theatre! we saw "the persuit of happyness" *mispelled on purpuse* it was pretty good! i was tired and antsy by the end though. THEN i came home and was bombarded by a number of birthday emails and messages from so many of my lovely friends. yeah it was a good day. tomorrow i'm going to celebrate it with a wee get together at corrie and natty's! i'm stoked.

I'm excited for this semester. already i feel better about it. last semester, last year, was odd. But I'm going to be more disiplined this semester, a great deal of this being in my faith. In our youth we've labeled this year the year of "change" and I pray and believe it will be.

If you don't...I'll...and then...

BAH HA...ok it's only funny to me because I just saw "a night at the museum" and there is this character who never finishes his thoughts. I relate all to well with him. ANYWHO today was crazy, if you care, I taught sunday school, went to 3/4 of the church service before booking it to work 12:30-8:30, finished closing the store oh so quickly. Changed in the staff room and busted out of that joint to meet some friends from work at Red Robins at 8:35 *it's just across the street* Had a fantabulistic time, we laugh a lot when we're together, they're crazy you'd like them! Then made a mad rush to colossus *movie theatre for my non langleyite friends* to see a night at the museum. what a great group to see this movie with, we laughed a lot. there were some LAME parts that i was like...hmm i dont like this movie right now..but i forgot them all really because i laughed so hard at other times. ANyways i'm really just rambling because i'm tired, it's been a crazy day. . . on to the next day ...which of course is my birthday! actually today is my birthday because it's 12:29! YAY happy birthday to me. . . 23 seems old to me. i know it's not but dang!

ok i'm really tired. and i have to be up for an eye exam. . . finally i'll get new glasses...i've been wearing my old ones for about a year now, my "new" ones were destroyed in a maush pit..honestly who wears glasses into a maush pit! ...why can't i speel maush pit!...DER! ..oh yes i was going to bed... peace and love my dear friends peace and love.

thoughts of a day

i've had several repetative thoughts over the last couple of days, some shallow, some funny, some exciting, some only produce more thoughts. in no particular order.

- perspective of moving to england with sarah for a while. and then to taiwan with maia to teach english **only after i finish with my degree...year and half*

- the word LIFE in matt. 6:25(or 28?!)

- the hope of one day being married

- to abandon comfort to experience the true value and meaning of Life and God in all things

- KABAZAkAK!

- I really need to get my CD put back into my car

- how good it feels to pray and journal again

- how often i completely miss the mark in many things.

- how long my hair is.

- man i love my wonder woman dayplanner

- how we're so willing to pay to clean up stanley park yet unwilling to reach out to others in need.

- how i'm ignorant when it comes to political issues and pretty much all government stuff and much of the worlds news

- that i'm almost 23.

- i have way too many odd pictures of maia and I

it's killin' me smalls!

I know i just misquoted The Sandlot because it's really YOU'RE killing me smalls. hahaha i know i'm a dork, get over it.

So what's killing me you ask?

hmmm perhaps it's my lack of adventure...I have NO trips coming up NO exciting plans for this year, oh 2007 what will you hold....*crickets*....oh really?

usually i have something pushing me with great anticipation...a trip, a visit, a journey, a great summer, relaxation, adventure...something! But alas there is nothing in sight right now. so far it's, life at school and chapters. woo woo. I want to drive to oregon, visit some of the coolest people i've had the priveledge to know...hmmmmmmmmm perhaps that's what i'll do! During spring break!! I won't pick up shifts HECK NO, i'll dump them allll....and run away!!!!!