there has been an update request...

...so here is a wildmind *continuous stream of thoughts*....

My day, a lot of time alone, in a car. drove to ladner really anticipating hearing dan preach when alas i discover my directions from map quest are not to the right location. stupid late nights watching movies by myself. stupid me for not remebering how to get to ladner trunk rd! I search the area for a high school...stupid me forgot my cell phone, the sschool name and dan's direactions!! find an elementary school...no church service there! Drive around wondering what to do? go home? stop at a gas station ask if there is any high schools in the ladner area!?! I settle on driving into ladner baptists churchs parking lot. get out and attend a service by myself. i sit up in the balcony because there is no room below. a man hands me a friendship card, welcome, write your info, we'll get in touch with you type thing. i quickly scroll that my name and the fact that i got lost looking for my friends church and pray a blessing on their church family. watch and laugh along with the family at a video announcement of a womans slumber party at the church, laugh with the family as the guy up front gets confused on the order of the service and smile at the feeling of true family that is illuminating the room. frown inwardly as the worship pastor appaulogizes for the guy and says usually this doesn't happen and that the service is seemless...it should be seamless or perfect but allow for times such as this for raw emotions, even joy to shine through! he expressed about now he's getting into what church is about and read a psalm...church is about joy and laughter and family buddy! dispite this inward dislike for the directors remarks i enjoyed the service, the talk on david in the cave, psalm 142 it think it was. and how it starts with Dave calling shouting and telling his heart's aches to God almost as an sos cry then it switches into a personal conversation as David uses the word YOU before Lord. it was pretty sweet...funny speaker, a guest. speaking of guest it seems that everytime i'm not at my home church someone besides Ken preachs! Eryn did today, he's not a guest but rarely preaches, not that i dont like kens talks but honest it's nice to hear different views and such... so i missed eryn and dan! I"M SORRY DAN IF YOU READ THIS. i really wanted to be there, it was lame and i felt crappy cuz i was all the way out there! SO CLOSE!!!!!!! it was probably like one road beyond where i was or soemthing lame like that but anyways. i drove home, alone with the lame radio stations, got home called my bro and left immediatly back up into langley so that he could but my cd player in my car, hung out with sierra, played perfection...not a perfect game, opperation shrek style and littlisst pet shop. i did different accents and voices for each pet i was so funny listening to sierra try to do that too! ate speghetti and garlic bread, talked with my bro and sis in law. drove home alone but this time with the company of great music! it's good to have my tunes back in my car instead of beonce or silence, although that silence was golden like the oldies at times, i prayed a lot more because the radio tunes sucked... i'll have to remind myself to shut off the tunage for a while and pray now....arg i'm stopping i'm really tired, it feels like it's one in the morning but it's just after 10. love and frogs.

ho ho! and another...

So... i'll be honest and admit i got a facebook..sick I know, too many flippin' web communities. BUT it's actually been cool to reconnect*as much as you can* with some people I hadn't heard from in a LONG time...anyways I came across this picture in I think Jenna's photos....hahaha I had never seen this picture or thought about this memory since cape. But it was at a restaurant in Edinburgh. LOVE IT!!! HAHA man i wish i could have dinner with these gals right now and yes we would try to touch our tongues to our nose again...

i look scary...

hahaha this was taken at a crocodile farm or wait no no the monkey farm in The Gambia... i look very scary...i can't believe that was almost 2 years ago!!!! i just saw this picture for the first time on a dear ones facebook and thought i'd share. . .

PIRATE VALENTINES!

Today was just one of those days...ya know, where you feel SO tired, and for some reason there is a grey cloud peeing in your honeycombs! I came home after school today exausted and wanting nothing but solitude. I sat around for a while, ate stuff, wasted time and concluded i wasnt' going to go to a V-day party at my friends...so I go upstairs at like five to eight with Billy *laptop* and was about to open it up and begin my homework when all of a sudden BAM I think I have to get out of the house..i have to go to this party!

I'm soooo glad i did! It was a complete and utter gong show! IT was a pirate V-day party and it was aweome. I only knew like 6 or so people there, but that was awesome! I had a blast ... met lots of new people, scared lots of people, and danced and laughed like there was no tomorrow. I was only able to take a few pics of those i know but man there are some odd pics of me out there on random peoples cameras! hahaha Maia wins the award of my crazy other half hands down...hahaha CHEERS to the loud ones inthe kitchen! oh man...so many funny elements like: a random candy fight with swords and all, flinging chocolate stuff, pirate dancing, Rysu dancing and singing to "irreplacable" man alive..i'm tired i should go to bed.

but yes. this one goes out to all the pirates of the world Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

untitled

no spectators please!

it's hazardath to your health.

no view day today!

it's not time to know what it's like.

no model today!

it's not time to be compared.

it's time for you and I!

not time for another distraction.

day - o- experiences

since you aren't use to coherent posts from me i thought to myself why start now...so roll on the random...

Expensive Experience: Today I experienced the most EXPENSIVE sushi in my life! a couple friends and I went to sushi before our night class....it was all you can eat, we had good laughs, good times...the bill you ask...um 77!!!!! SERIOUS isn't that outrageous!! man alive, experience, that's all i can say.

An Experience: UG i experienced great discomfort *this word is not strong enough* while watching "Jesus Camp" it's a movie anyone can rent at blockbuster, it was a documentary on this camp this women puts on for evangelical children in north dakota. Honest i would just like to talk about this one in person...strong feelings. I mean who says "kids are to be USED" or "kids dont have a choice" OR "I'm ok with it being called indoctrination..." ALL This about kids 5-12!! man alive...so much that disagreed with my spirit...i just wanted to reach in and hug those children. man...arg...yeah... brutal. I mean I want my kids to be passionate about Christ and i desire that they would know his love and grace...but this was extremism and I saw no touch of grace... AHHhhh liek this "life" part...whatever I wont go on. If you watch it, watch it with people so you can "debrief"

Good experience: A new musical duo has entered my repetoire, Jacob & Lily, are a group from winnipeg and were playing in my schools collegium. I hit it up after my night class and totally enjoyed it. Raw, folky, angsty sound. Definatly a refreshing slice of music. I bought there stuff but i'd much rather hear them live... she's witty and real and he's quiet yet phenomanel with percussion. He did a drum solo on a box on which he was sitting on! Anyways yeah, check em out if you haven't heard them before.

a night off...

So Gracie pointed out something to be very true, I have been very pensive lately there is so much to digest and think on. It's amazing really, the past couple of weeks i've felt as if i've awakened from a dream that kept me from reality...a fog... it's been sweet. but this post is going to be a girly, lame, no brainer post....

I'm sick, and i've pushed through it because i have to, i'm busy, flat out dont have time to take a moment off...BUT i did tonight, i didnt' go to youth. So i stayed home, cleaned my room, read ...started the raggamuffin gospel ...started Great Expectations..journaled...sat...got bored after like an hour of TV...

...OH OH I did my frist speaking to youth Talk today, and it went pretty good! the process was brutal but soo worth it, i had a lot to learn before i could open my mouth and even more to learn now that i have...probably doesnt' make much sense but God is working...fair enough...thanks for prayin!

Carrying onto the girly, lame part of the post...today i bought two pairs of shoes, i'm not a girly girl that has a million pairs of shoes but today i was like phhh i need some new ones. AND i got two and i love them and am so excited to wear them tomorrow with my new one truth sweater that came in the mail today! WOO WOO...i told you it was lame. AND i've been sort of working at getting more healthy you know, in shape, shed some of that baby fat ;) and today someone who hasn't seen me in a while was like WOAH megan are you working out!...whateves lame but it made me smile!

....isn't it funny how you can be hurt by someone who really doesn't know you exist, well beyond a smiling face that is...i'll leave that one to the imagination ;)

haha, well since i've started writting this i've had a good talk with a friend and watched a funny library musical...and now it is one and i should be sleeping...

.silence.

is it golden

or laced with threats

a silent quiver spreads through out the sensations of my soul

an indwelling silence fills the gaps with a crushing wave

pushing the debris of a broken identity

into the open where it can be healed

.silence.

it is neither

golden nor a threat

it is a path for the broken to tread

it can be as deafining as the thunder

or as gentle as a lovers whisper

.silence.