"Meet Me in St. Louis"

In 2.5 hours *2am* I'll be bording a bus, along with some fellow CBC youth work majors, driving 2 hours to get to Seatle then flying to Chicago O'hare Int. then bording another plan to reach St. Louis at somepoint tomorrow afternoon.

I've never been to Missouri! I'm excited to scratch another state off my list. One day I'd like to have been to them all!

Why am I going you may be asking. To see this of course......

Just kiddin'! Although I'm sure I'll see it that isn't why we're going.

We will be attending the National Youth Specialties Youth Conference thingy!

Where thousands of youth pastors and youth workers get together and have a party. There are a ton of speakers and seminars, concerts etc! It's our time to be the youth....

Here are some quick facts about St. Louis for you:

• The custom of placing chocolate on hotel pillows began here when the actor Cary Grant used chocolate for wooing purposes at the Mayfair Hotel downtown.


• The St. Louis Cardinals have won more world championships than any other National League team.


• The first successful parachute jump to be made from a moving airplane was made by Captain Berry at St. Louis, in 1912 **note "successful**


• The state animal is the Mule.


• The tallest man in documented medical history was Robert Pershing Wadlow from St. Louis. He was 8 feet, 11.1 inches tall

new love.

I have a new love in my life. it does not live in one person. it does not reside in one cabin. it is camp luther. the whole of it. from the ecentric staff to the messy staff room. i love it all.

this pic was taken at boofest *the fall retreat that was just held over the weekend* it was such a blast. i love this pciture because it is so random! and we all know...random. random is my favorite.

haha the rant below was not brought on by this lovely couple. i could not be more happy for a couple. they are amazing adn i love them both muchly! AND their wedding was out of control awesome!

ok. is it just me or is everyone and their dog hookin' up!!

seriously, bible college is disasterous for copious amounts of relationships beginning...i've been around long enough to know this. BUT it seems that in my final years the number or relationships, engagements and marriages is rising at an alarming rate!!.

and I feel it is time for me to pose the freakin' question....

where the flip is my bling bling?!?! hmm?? hahaha... *sigh*

.tonight some dude said i was intriguing.

.i should be studying for an exam i have tomorrow.

.i should also be devoting some time to the Lord.

.my mom bought me really cute knit slippers with wooden buttons then hid it in my laundry so i found it when i got home.

.work is almost harder the less you do it.

.i'm stiff from dancing so much at my friends wedding.

.Ryan and Robyns wedding was amazing and everyone had a rad time.

.Amy went home today.

.i bought a douglas coupland book for $3 bucks at VVboutique.

.i'm a book snob and dont like used ones...however this one was in perfect condition.

.k i'm done.

.random. random is my favorite.

yesterday in my youth issues class I had a birthday.

I turned to ask renee for a piece of gum and when she gave it to me she said "happy birthday" then from the other side kendra in a loud voice was like "Megan it's your birthday?" then matt was like " oh happy birthday megan!" at this point mike *who had seen the interaction between renee* started singing happy birthday pretty soon the whole class joined in! by this point i was laughing histarically at the situation and after the song was done my proff who had been talking to a tech. guy *silly computer issues* turned to me and was like "megan, it's yoru birthday!" ... and I just lost it.

good times. good times.

a framework of fragility begins to settle in your desperate soul
the aching you are experiencing is called just that.
.experience.
you battle experience
who asked it to tresspass anyways.

a silent story begins to etch itself on you reactions
a subtlety becomes boisterous
this frame.
this experience.
not allowed to blossom creates havoc in the cramped courters

it will escape

.a place to call my own.

i'm MOVING! woo woo, for the first time in my 23 years, i'll be officially on my own, with a roomate of course!

it happened sort of quickly. ok well I had been thinking about it for a while but was waiting on one crutial ingredient that came through last night!! SOOooo I called my friend Carly let her know she had a roomate and then BAM i move tomorrow. SOoo in the few hours i've been home...after an 8 hour shift then a three hour class *both graciously shortened* I've been trying to pack up my room. MAN It's HARD. i can't choose which books to take but really shouldnt' take them all. i can't decide to put the candles in the box or the bag. Ahhh hahahah i'm so excited though.

I will be moving 25 min from my house, into abbotsford. RIGHT beside my school. the school actually rents out some of the apartments as sr. housing! This is a total answer to prayer, seeing as it's my last year i've wanted to be able to be a big part of the community and build into it and such. and i even have some what of a position as a commuter assistant so it will be nice to be able to spend more time on campus and less time driving! WOO WOO. i'm still working in langley can't cut that out...but YAY!

anyways it's 1:30 am...i'm gonna stare at my stuff for another half an hour before i decide to sleep....IT MOVE DAY TOMORROW! WOO WOO!!!!!!!!

whenever i decide to write on here i'm either tired, or reflective or super hyper. can you guess which one it is?

i'm really excited about this upcoming semester. it's my second to last one at good ol' CBC. One of the main reason for the excitment is that I know what i'm going to graduate with, i had been struggling with what to graduate with and finalized with a BA in youth work. Throughout the summer God really solidified that youth work is something that I'm passionate about and desire to be a part of more than on a volunteer basis. it was a hard summer but I dont know if i would have learned what i had if it had turned out as I wanted it to. The Lord is so good like that.
i'm also looking forward to being more involved on campus and with the school community, seeing as it is my last year i really want to pour into it.

besides school...i'm back at work. woo. yeah.

I won't be helping out wiht youth on tuesdays because i have a class but hopefully will be more involved in other ways. thats a we'll ahve to wait and see type deal.

well that was a quick recap of what's up with me at this point.

if you said tired. you are right.

wow. summer is gone.

WEll it's been a rollercoaster of a freakin' summer and it's over.

if you would have asked me two weeks ago if i were ready for it to be over and i would have said HECK YES.

but now...well i'm not too sure! haha. I went to camp luther for two weeks to work and i absolutly loved it. soo rad. such an amazing ministry and rad people.

...well i was going to write a big fat catch up blog. . . nah ..........

hope all is well with whoever stumbles upon this!

{{{{{{
a force within draws you out
a plauge inside demands an exit
a watchful eye turns your sight black
what occurs in your thoughts must never escape.

a tunnel has been forged to the outer rim. what lies beyond is unfathamable only because it has yet to be scratched by your iris. overcome not with joy or anguish but by apathy you slip onto the deck of the future. no time to rest for time does not exist. no pain to withstand because pain has been extinguished with numbness.
}}}}}}

HUH! that makes sound depressed. i'm not at all! . I just got back from Rouch Acres a camp that we take our youth up every year and we are the counselors and support staff. this year as well as last we did a boys camp so our guys were the cabin leaders and us girls washed dishes, led activities and scrubbed toilets! It was honestly amazing. God once more proved his faithfullness and awesome power. To be honest when i first got there I did not want to be there...and it seems taht was the general consent. however The lLord was there in a powerful way and as soon as the campers got there, everyone bonded together and worked as a team and were ready to be used by the Lord and to glorify him! it was so amazing to be a part of and to witness some of my youth to really grasp what it means to be a servant of the Lord. and for some to even know what it means to follow Him and to obey. One of our girls shared her sotry for the first time in front of people. it was amazing. She has only been a Christian for 2 months and it was truly a blessing to hear her and wacth the Lord work through and in her during the week! and to see our guys serve so selflessly at such a young age was awesome! a true testament to there faith in the Lord.
I miss the camp already so much, it was incredible. Camp is an interesting ministry you build into these kids lives for a week then you have to say goodbye. i wish these boys were in my youth group, a part of our team so that we could build them up and be there to walk alongside of them, however they are not yet we can continue to pray for them and support them in other ways. they were awesome kids and I really enjoyed hanging out with them.
anyways yeah, camp was amazing.
on sunday I'm leaving to go to camp luther , this time i'll be on my own, joining a staff team that has been together all summer. I'll be there for 2 weeks and am excited / nervous, because i haven't counseled in over three years, and really dont have a ton of experience but it will be sweet!

well cheers to the best week of the summer!

Honestly...

Harry Potter has taken over my life.

It seems that as of late i've been living and breathing harry potter. Between re-reading the books, waiting and watching the fifth movie, preparing for book seven, doing crafts at work, thinking of ways to make the potter party better, discussing harry potter and creating a hermoine costume. I bought a Ron Weasly action figure to glue on my dashboard and rented a movie because Rupert Gint *ron* was in it. Basically my life has become potterfied. It's bad. SO tonight after waiting in line for three hours to see the movie, and spending the rest of the day getting costume stuff and talking about it...i decided i need to scale it back a bit. it's not like i belive it is all real or that I am doing anything bad. it's just simply taking too much of my life. it could be said for many things in life...and at this time it is harry potter.

I'm not going to lie, i love harry potter, the books, and the movies and think there is nothing wrong with them as long as you use them as entertainment, i know however that for some people it is not worth having it in their lives. I will continue to watch the movies. read the books *only 9 more days* And keep in mind that in just over two weeks, i'll have read the final book, and will no longer be surrounded by it all constantly. but for the next two weeks i must make sure that I am spending time with the Lord, that before I read or watch the movies I spend time in prayer and reading God's word. were strengh and true joy comes from.

. as if i were a small child wearing flowered leggin's.

.my feet long for adventures.

well the month since school has been out has been...interseting to say the least. it's been challenging yet good. a blessing yet a pain in the butt. It mostly pertains to summer plans. see i never really "plan" things they just happen and i love it that way. yet i tried to plan this summer and of course....*suprise* it didn't pan through. sooooooooo no biggy really i'm stoked to see what God has in store for the summer now, what opportunities await...experiences... hmmm i wonder.

...in other news. i've decided that i'm going to marry a musician. deal? DEAL.

Main thoughts of the week:

- the church didnt' get a government grant. meaning no internship/job for megan.

- its' ok because i'll just work at chapters, and camp this summer...make no money and go to Disneyland in august.

- i'll do my internship next year, and also have to work, bring on the busyness i love so much.

- honest i'm ok with it. it'll work out. no point being bitter.

Main thoughts/activities of the day:

- worked, not bad if i have energy...i'm becoming a pro at busy/slacker mode...

- went for coffee with some stellar youth girls after work, hahaha i'm getting old.

- went for coffee with Ben - dont want him to move to vic

- it's good hearing other perspectives when you trust them, even if you dont fully agree.

- went late night longboarding with janny, and the maiers - conquering fears is good

- a gentle reminder of how amazing my friends are.
- started listening to pedro the lion, finally, why have i never before?!

Random pics from Portland:

i heart portland...

...because it has so many dear people!

SOooooo, It's been a very long time since i've posted anything ...or anything quasi substantial. so i'll have to ease myself back into it...

this weekend i drove to portland on thursday *five hours not too shabby* and drove home on sunday. Honest I didnt' stop all weekend but it was amazing.

Friends from Cape i got to hang out with and love: Alison, Meredith, Pammy, Josh, Danny and Evan!!!!!! It was so awesome to see these guys, at times i'd just stop and stare at them at soak in how truly amazing they are. Honest.

Got to hang out with Jared, Kyle and Justin!! The american boys who came up with Ev for there spring break. Chivilary truly lives on through them! Met a ton of cool new people...oregon is full of them...like Desiree and kelly!

ack. i was going to tell you all about my adventure but i'm really tired and it would take too long but trust me when i saw it was wonderful! perhaps i'll fill ya in later.

awe, maybe i'll drive down again this weekend haha.

OH OH i own a longboard now! woo woo..*chugga chugga*

i know i haven't posted in a while. but soon. i have a "crush" on a waiter at this restaurant.

I'm listening with my mouth!

i had a plethera of things to say but no longer feel like writing them so i wont.

current mood: happeniss covered in MEH

currently listening to: Emery - the question

currently avoiding: feminist hermeneutics paper

current waiting for: cast party to begin

currently feeling: naucious

current sitting: in the bear cat lounge at school

currently drinking: water

current temperature: really warm...

currently wishing: that a fairy would come do my work!!!!!

the american invasion and life

I had the most remarkable weekend, truly did, it was like I was on vacation but I never left. I could write out pages of funny stories, crazy adventures, great talks, silly sayings, and all around good times! But it's late and i'm really tired. Why did i have a fantastic weekend? well...





Evan came up with three of his buddies from Multnomah, Justin, Kyle and Jared and stayed for five days. These guys were some of the most random, amazing, uniquly awesome people! Serious i wish you all had the chance to meet and hang out with them.





I enjoyed seriously every moment i spent with these guys, and it was nice to actually spend time with my friends from home as well! I did not get any homework done which leaves me a tad behind schedule *understatement? yes.* but it was worth it.

I'll post more pics later...

It's sort of odd though, how fast you can get used to having someone around all the time, like they would be here when I woke up, went to sleep, got home from school or work...and now they aren't and I miss it. BAH HA ...





IN OTHER NEWS. JANNY is home and man alive I'm sooo glad she is. I've missed her sooo much!! It's been sweet i've seen her a ton since she's been back i love it and her!!!





I feel that at this moment i'm sort of sitting on a hill of emotions and issues that perhaps aren't all mine.. for the past month if not longer i've had a desire to cry, you know one of those exausting wails?!? yet haven't and it's not necessarily for me even. yeah i know it sounds odd But in that I feel that God is drawing me so close to him. I'ts amazing to know his voice, *not audible* and see his work in lives around me and in mine. Yeah, exciting stuff, exausting stuff... i sometimes feel as though i'm not dealing with my own issues...because everyone has them right?! but yes. hahah this is when i should stop typing and go to bed. or finish my paper.

A little mirror fun...

the mind of megan eh!?

...maia nailed it *circus music* is all I hear.

Hmmm, well there has been a lot going on in my noggin'.

The past week has been good.

The play is going really well so far. We've had two nights and one more to go. It's been a long journey to finally putting this bad boy up, one of the most difficult ones i've worked on. First off I'm playing a new role for me, I dont play the funny one, the main one, or the most energetic one...yet it's good. Really though the hardest part has been just getting to the point where it could go up. there is so much to a production that for people who've never really been a part of have no idea, it takes a crap load of energy, time and work. We had major scheduling issues with the team and didn't actually do full runs very much before going up. It's been yeah...hard and frustrating at times, yet it's been sweet to continually be reminded that this is for God and for his glory and to leave it at that. So yes... I'm glad I am a part of it...

I feel that I haven't really seen my friends for a while...which is true haha, but i was able to have sushi with maia today which was nice. . . soon though I'll have more time. It's been good though seeing people at the play who I haven't seen for a while at school, nice to catch up with them.

Well I'm sort of just rambling now and i should go...gotta get ready to go soon...one more! EEEPppp. haha I love that I still get a wee nervous...gives me energy!

9 am practice, a funeral, a wedding, vancouver & dinner at the Naam.

My day was full of a plethera of emotions and an awray of activities.

awake. it's 8:15 and I have to leave in 15 min. to be at rehearsal for 9.

9:00 begin setting stage

9:30 We did a dress rehearsal, went through the play once and did a que to que once. emotional rollercoaster numero one. it's a pretty draining play, but good. finish time 1:30

1:45 arive at seven oaks church to attend a funeral of an individual i've never met. Pastoral Practices class requires i attend a memorial service.

1:47 realize that there is in fact NO balcony for me to hide in but only a very small room that is rapidly fillin! for 20 minutes i'm the only person under the age of 60...someone is bound to notice i dont belong.

1:55 while trying to be stealth by grabing a chair and placing it at the back of the room hit hanging light and cause a ruckus...oops!

2:05 family enters, three younger people are present. 2:45 *ish* service ends. i book it to starbucks.

2:55 order a venti London Fog *comes to haunt me later*

3:05 arrive back at school and chill out for an hour before picking up a fellow Pastrol Practices Buddy and head to a wedding ceremont *yet another requirment*

4:20 firmly plant tush in a pew on the balcony and begin making witty comments on decor and the fact we know the people so well...all in a joking matter seeing as we have no idea who these people are.....

4: 35 realize that i was mistaken! I do in fact have an idea of who these people are because the groomsman is marrying my friends cousin in 2 weeks!! CRAZY!

4:50 get heavily distracted by the pigeons cooing on the window cile...sile...the window ...*ahem*

5: 10 make a quick get away and take buddy back to the school

5:35 arrive home *yes i sped* and changed then went to pick up maia!

6:00 leave maia's house and pretty much talk non stop till i get a phone call from evan! YAY he's coming to stay with me *along with three of his buddies* for 5 days in a couple of weeks! woo woo.....then talk talk, laugh, talk..

7:15 Maia and I arrive at the Naam and enjoy great atmosphere, food and company!! Talk talk talk YAY I LOVE YOU MAIA!!!!! Have a blast....

8:40 park further down 4th and walk, talk, laugh, "iseeyouknowhim" heh heh, talk, walk, pee. *oh i forgot the venti tea came back to haunt me...causing me to PEE every hour!..ok not too far from the norm but still!*

9:00 find the cutest pairs of shoes... BUT we held off! good on us!

9:15 wait forever for the starbucks washrooom DANG i had to GO!!!

10:00 begin the drive home, talk, listen to imogen heap and mika, laugh, talk, sing, talk...

11:51 here i sit. my day = full. but good. story of my life. I'm glad that i could do what i wanted tonight and spend it with maia! woo woo.... back into van tomorrow...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY D!

Can you believe it Baby D is three!!!!! Man alive, fiestier than ever and cuter by the moment! We all gathered on saturday *praise be that I had booked it off of work* to celebrate her birth. Man, I really love my family and miss them lots. Today I called my mom to talk to her about a youth event and she was like "oh how are you doing?!" and I was like "Eeeep sorry I can't talk mom!" ...see I live with her, yet i'm never home thus i never see her. I have to phone her to talk to her. hahaha oh dear.

Friends like this...

...you don't see everyday but it feels like it. I went to school with Julia, Zane and Juliana. I loved them they were my support at school. However since first year I see them very seldomly but when we do hang out it's like no time has passed, and I love it. Last week I took a night to go and spend with them. We ate, chatted and played a brilliant game of "heart throb" *the boys played nintendo*. Since first year a lot of things have been added in their lives, Juliana married Spence, Julia and Zane married eachother and now have little Oscar who is perfectly adorable and perfect mix of them.

I'm still afloat, dont worry. I'm hanging in there, be patient. I'm doing my best here, wait for me.

Shows = great joy for Megan.

Last week I went to Switchfoot for I'd say the 6th or 7th time, and you like myself probably asked WHY?! why would I see them that many times, well let me tell you I discovered why during the show, they flippin' put on an awesome show! PLUS any chance I get to rock out is good!

Then this week I got to go to SNOWPATROL in seattle! My dear friends Maia and Dan shared this sweeeeet experience with me! We drove down and spent the day in Seattle and I've come to the conclusion any city can be cool if you are with the right people. The most fun i had was just hanging out in a starbucks with them joking around and playing the wave game *i won ;) * Pikes Place market was a huge let down for me...sad but true, we had no desire to purchase a fish and all i wanted to see was a stupid large fish be thrown from one guy to another! We bummed around until the show started at 7:30 then it was go time! Ok, so we had just purchased the tickets a week before so we were in the stands, which was a new experience for me but it was actually pretty sweet to see the whole stage and everything going on! I usually am on the floor and dance around all crazy like. However a huge issue for us were was the lack of enthusiasm from the other people in our area! no one was standing! We sat through the opening bands, Silver Sun Pick UP and OK GO...it was hard, i definatly flawed in my seat mind you. AND then when SP finally started we moved to a less busy section straight in front of the stage and immediatly began to jump and sing and dance. *sigh* it was awesome. Once again I find myself having a weakness for boys with accents, especially ones who can sing! They played all my favs and gave me some new ones. They played 4 songs for the encore which was sweet because for a minute there i didnt' think they were going to come back on! Anyways it was all too exciting and it left me singing and dancing along Seattle streets back to Dans car. But honestly I dont think people in Seattle were ever shown the freedom of rockin out at shows! the floor even looked a tad...dull! Well, all that matters is I had a wonderful time and can't wait to see them again....here are some random pics of the day.

Next week .... John Reuben in Bellingham.

there has been an update request...

...so here is a wildmind *continuous stream of thoughts*....

My day, a lot of time alone, in a car. drove to ladner really anticipating hearing dan preach when alas i discover my directions from map quest are not to the right location. stupid late nights watching movies by myself. stupid me for not remebering how to get to ladner trunk rd! I search the area for a high school...stupid me forgot my cell phone, the sschool name and dan's direactions!! find an elementary school...no church service there! Drive around wondering what to do? go home? stop at a gas station ask if there is any high schools in the ladner area!?! I settle on driving into ladner baptists churchs parking lot. get out and attend a service by myself. i sit up in the balcony because there is no room below. a man hands me a friendship card, welcome, write your info, we'll get in touch with you type thing. i quickly scroll that my name and the fact that i got lost looking for my friends church and pray a blessing on their church family. watch and laugh along with the family at a video announcement of a womans slumber party at the church, laugh with the family as the guy up front gets confused on the order of the service and smile at the feeling of true family that is illuminating the room. frown inwardly as the worship pastor appaulogizes for the guy and says usually this doesn't happen and that the service is seemless...it should be seamless or perfect but allow for times such as this for raw emotions, even joy to shine through! he expressed about now he's getting into what church is about and read a psalm...church is about joy and laughter and family buddy! dispite this inward dislike for the directors remarks i enjoyed the service, the talk on david in the cave, psalm 142 it think it was. and how it starts with Dave calling shouting and telling his heart's aches to God almost as an sos cry then it switches into a personal conversation as David uses the word YOU before Lord. it was pretty sweet...funny speaker, a guest. speaking of guest it seems that everytime i'm not at my home church someone besides Ken preachs! Eryn did today, he's not a guest but rarely preaches, not that i dont like kens talks but honest it's nice to hear different views and such... so i missed eryn and dan! I"M SORRY DAN IF YOU READ THIS. i really wanted to be there, it was lame and i felt crappy cuz i was all the way out there! SO CLOSE!!!!!!! it was probably like one road beyond where i was or soemthing lame like that but anyways. i drove home, alone with the lame radio stations, got home called my bro and left immediatly back up into langley so that he could but my cd player in my car, hung out with sierra, played perfection...not a perfect game, opperation shrek style and littlisst pet shop. i did different accents and voices for each pet i was so funny listening to sierra try to do that too! ate speghetti and garlic bread, talked with my bro and sis in law. drove home alone but this time with the company of great music! it's good to have my tunes back in my car instead of beonce or silence, although that silence was golden like the oldies at times, i prayed a lot more because the radio tunes sucked... i'll have to remind myself to shut off the tunage for a while and pray now....arg i'm stopping i'm really tired, it feels like it's one in the morning but it's just after 10. love and frogs.

ho ho! and another...

So... i'll be honest and admit i got a facebook..sick I know, too many flippin' web communities. BUT it's actually been cool to reconnect*as much as you can* with some people I hadn't heard from in a LONG time...anyways I came across this picture in I think Jenna's photos....hahaha I had never seen this picture or thought about this memory since cape. But it was at a restaurant in Edinburgh. LOVE IT!!! HAHA man i wish i could have dinner with these gals right now and yes we would try to touch our tongues to our nose again...

i look scary...

hahaha this was taken at a crocodile farm or wait no no the monkey farm in The Gambia... i look very scary...i can't believe that was almost 2 years ago!!!! i just saw this picture for the first time on a dear ones facebook and thought i'd share. . .

PIRATE VALENTINES!

Today was just one of those days...ya know, where you feel SO tired, and for some reason there is a grey cloud peeing in your honeycombs! I came home after school today exausted and wanting nothing but solitude. I sat around for a while, ate stuff, wasted time and concluded i wasnt' going to go to a V-day party at my friends...so I go upstairs at like five to eight with Billy *laptop* and was about to open it up and begin my homework when all of a sudden BAM I think I have to get out of the house..i have to go to this party!

I'm soooo glad i did! It was a complete and utter gong show! IT was a pirate V-day party and it was aweome. I only knew like 6 or so people there, but that was awesome! I had a blast ... met lots of new people, scared lots of people, and danced and laughed like there was no tomorrow. I was only able to take a few pics of those i know but man there are some odd pics of me out there on random peoples cameras! hahaha Maia wins the award of my crazy other half hands down...hahaha CHEERS to the loud ones inthe kitchen! oh man...so many funny elements like: a random candy fight with swords and all, flinging chocolate stuff, pirate dancing, Rysu dancing and singing to "irreplacable" man alive..i'm tired i should go to bed.

but yes. this one goes out to all the pirates of the world Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

untitled

no spectators please!

it's hazardath to your health.

no view day today!

it's not time to know what it's like.

no model today!

it's not time to be compared.

it's time for you and I!

not time for another distraction.

day - o- experiences

since you aren't use to coherent posts from me i thought to myself why start now...so roll on the random...

Expensive Experience: Today I experienced the most EXPENSIVE sushi in my life! a couple friends and I went to sushi before our night class....it was all you can eat, we had good laughs, good times...the bill you ask...um 77!!!!! SERIOUS isn't that outrageous!! man alive, experience, that's all i can say.

An Experience: UG i experienced great discomfort *this word is not strong enough* while watching "Jesus Camp" it's a movie anyone can rent at blockbuster, it was a documentary on this camp this women puts on for evangelical children in north dakota. Honest i would just like to talk about this one in person...strong feelings. I mean who says "kids are to be USED" or "kids dont have a choice" OR "I'm ok with it being called indoctrination..." ALL This about kids 5-12!! man alive...so much that disagreed with my spirit...i just wanted to reach in and hug those children. man...arg...yeah... brutal. I mean I want my kids to be passionate about Christ and i desire that they would know his love and grace...but this was extremism and I saw no touch of grace... AHHhhh liek this "life" part...whatever I wont go on. If you watch it, watch it with people so you can "debrief"

Good experience: A new musical duo has entered my repetoire, Jacob & Lily, are a group from winnipeg and were playing in my schools collegium. I hit it up after my night class and totally enjoyed it. Raw, folky, angsty sound. Definatly a refreshing slice of music. I bought there stuff but i'd much rather hear them live... she's witty and real and he's quiet yet phenomanel with percussion. He did a drum solo on a box on which he was sitting on! Anyways yeah, check em out if you haven't heard them before.

a night off...

So Gracie pointed out something to be very true, I have been very pensive lately there is so much to digest and think on. It's amazing really, the past couple of weeks i've felt as if i've awakened from a dream that kept me from reality...a fog... it's been sweet. but this post is going to be a girly, lame, no brainer post....

I'm sick, and i've pushed through it because i have to, i'm busy, flat out dont have time to take a moment off...BUT i did tonight, i didnt' go to youth. So i stayed home, cleaned my room, read ...started the raggamuffin gospel ...started Great Expectations..journaled...sat...got bored after like an hour of TV...

...OH OH I did my frist speaking to youth Talk today, and it went pretty good! the process was brutal but soo worth it, i had a lot to learn before i could open my mouth and even more to learn now that i have...probably doesnt' make much sense but God is working...fair enough...thanks for prayin!

Carrying onto the girly, lame part of the post...today i bought two pairs of shoes, i'm not a girly girl that has a million pairs of shoes but today i was like phhh i need some new ones. AND i got two and i love them and am so excited to wear them tomorrow with my new one truth sweater that came in the mail today! WOO WOO...i told you it was lame. AND i've been sort of working at getting more healthy you know, in shape, shed some of that baby fat ;) and today someone who hasn't seen me in a while was like WOAH megan are you working out!...whateves lame but it made me smile!

....isn't it funny how you can be hurt by someone who really doesn't know you exist, well beyond a smiling face that is...i'll leave that one to the imagination ;)

haha, well since i've started writting this i've had a good talk with a friend and watched a funny library musical...and now it is one and i should be sleeping...

.silence.

is it golden

or laced with threats

a silent quiver spreads through out the sensations of my soul

an indwelling silence fills the gaps with a crushing wave

pushing the debris of a broken identity

into the open where it can be healed

.silence.

it is neither

golden nor a threat

it is a path for the broken to tread

it can be as deafining as the thunder

or as gentle as a lovers whisper

.silence.

Oh sunshiney day!

So i could complain about the fact that in the past 3 days i've spent about 45 minutes at home. and today i delegated 8 more of my hours awayBUT i wont' because well it's not a big deal because it's not!

Honest i feel that God has been working so much in the last week or so. it's crazy really...

I'm preparing a talk for my Preaching to Youth Class...*it was moved to next tuesday PRAISE BE!* and it's on "hearing God" and well, it seems that is the hot topic of my life...

I've told you about the question my prof. askes in two classes...and then the illustrations and there is also a book i'm reading for my Prayer Ministry class by an abotsford guy "Can you hear me?" and it's on listening to God.... So all that has been helping me with the talk....and then on the radio yesterday i heard a guy preaching on the will of God and ultimitly hearing from God.

it's been so rad putting this thing together although frustrating and confusing at times i feel that i keep getting more and more ideas and yeah, i'm excited. if for nothing else the mere fact that I am hearing from God again...well i hsould say i'm listening to God again.

Tonihgt while reading at starbucks.., can i just interupt myself and say i love reading in coffee shops!... there is a part of the previously mentioned book called tuning in. we have to do some of them for class but i was just reading through one we didnt and it posed questions you could ask God, just random ones and one was "when was the last time you cried over me?" I thought i heard "I missed you" and my response was "I'm here again" then i heard "i know my child, i know".... I dont know, i'm willing to accept the fact that it was me just saying it all...but i feel that it applies becaues i had stopped listening for God, i had stopped letting him in my everyday living and the last couple of days i've felt awake to the Spirit of God ...and it's been ...refreshing.

now for some Oscar Wilde

Impression: Le Reiveillon

The sky is laced with fitful red.
The circling mists and shadows flee,
The dawn is rising form the sea,
Like a white lady from her bed.

And jagged brazen arrows fall
athward the feathers of the night,
And a long wave of yellow light
Breaks silently on tower and hall,

And spreading wide across the wold
Wakes into flight some fluttering bird,
And all the chesnut tops are stirred,
And all the branches streaked with Gold.

oh white ninja...

Dispensationalism

i heard that a lot in Issues in Hermenutics today *yawn* sorry Mr.Y

I have a few running "titles" for this post:

- everythings is an illustration

- a thousand thoughts per minute

- *sigh*/ YAY/ *sigh*/YAY

- WARNING EXTREMELY LONG POST FULL OF RANDOM THINGS...

hahaha, I have so much on my mind and heart and I feel like there is NO time to share it with anyone or anything *my journal* instead i try to pound some of it out on here....

Everything has become an illustration for me lately, for preaching to youth Ron has encouraged us to see the everyday things in our life and events of our life as illustrations to use in our talks...man alive my brain won't stop thinking in that way! EVERYTHING is becoming useable...not that i'm complaining we have to have a crap load by the end of this semester

Another proff. Doug, in pastoral practices asks us every class "what has God been doing in your life?" ....huh honestly when asked that i dont have a reply...yet God is ALWAYS active and always talking, i jsut have to be open to seeing him and listening to him...so this too has taken a whirl in my noggin!

I have my first "sermon/talk/whatever you want to call it" next thursday in class...and really not a crap load of timt to pull it together! *breath and release*

I really love praying for other people, this was made even more evident to me today, yet when it comes time to really pray into my own life and seek direction and repentance all that jazz, i tend to clam up and definatly not listen

I heard a lot about repentance today which got me thinking about how often we're inwardly focused and only see sin as consequences to us and how we have to confess so we can feel better and us us us...but what about God, think about how it pains God. I dont ever think of that, and as a confession i dont offten think about how sin effects my relationship with him or what i need to work on. I usually just talk talk talk away...

I've been getting pumped about ministry...honest ahhh

I feel way too spread out, my life is dispersed in every which way and i have no real sense of where i am half the time, am i in fort langley? abby? langley? with who am i with? what am i doing? what's my purpose? i have a meeting when?... my weeks just blend together as a ceasly wheel...i need a sabbath.

I had the FREAKIEST experience at the pool yesterday, thank God *for real* that Mel was there with me. long story *not really* but made really short. I didnt' eat much, did too many laps, went in the hot tub, got delirous, felt like i was going to die or pass out at the least. BUT i'm still here and i didnt' pass out.

I got great mail the other day....A letter from Hawaii *thanks JAN!!* a post card from Edinburgh *Thanks dan!!* and a package from alberta *thanks AMY!!*

i'm starting my internship soon, another 8 hours out of my week...hoenst where is it going to come from!? ha still have to talk to jay about the whole internship...hmm.

i love that my friends can come over and watch a movie in my room *on billy..my laptop!!* and i can go and do homework and they're totally ok with it.

God is so good, honest.

This year, CHANGE, reoccuring yes, and today God confronted me on well...stuff still needs to change, i may have stepped in the right direction but i am still way off the mark ...

hmm well...that's a few of my random thoughts of today...typing is so much faster than writting for me...

one of the things i was confonted with is being "so busy" with everything is ok, but putting it all before God ...hmmm not so ok hey? yet here i am...

"i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her" - i've watched this movie twice ...well once and a bit in the last week. A hug, for the first person who can tell me where it comes from....MAIA and MEL are DISCLUDED*! * you get a hug anyways*

12.09 and so much on my mind.

sometimes lists are so much easier:

home group got me thinkin...

• as Gods children we box ourselves and try to make ourselves fit into the "stereotypes" of the good christian "male" or "female"
• if we get stuck in stereotypes of what christians are to be like what is the outside world getting stuck in
• i definatly don't fit into stereotypes
• even though the word "authentic" is being thrown around like no tomorrow it is a really key issue that must be lived out in our faith and our lives with eachother and the world around us
• peter was a great guy who i can relate to, he messed up, he struggled....
• peter is a guy that i can learn from...he had a living hope that became the instructor and outcome of his faith...

School got me thinkin....

• giving a youth talk is way more work than i would like it to be but that preparation is vital
• i'm not in a school frame of mind
• i love sitting by windows in class ...some great distractions...
• ministry is so dynamic and really exciting
• i have been given some amazing ministry opportunities that i've approached with mediocracy...

life has got me thinkin' ....

• no matter how much time you have it is never enough
• relationships are an amazing blessing and need to be continuously cultivated
• aspertaime *apsertaine?...i'm too lazy to go to dictionary.com* is disgusting
• it is easy to jump to conclusions...
• prayer has to be a way of life
• what would Christ' mannerisms be?
• i can't visit everyone that i want too in the next few months...but san.fran. is sounding like a great possiblitiy
• being "interested" in someone can be a daunting task
• i'm spending too much in the car alone, without my cd player
• i'm a fan of hugh grant...my sis and bro in law got me notting hill for my b-day...love it!
• i miss the sun

this feeling...

..it's good.

.A spider of a thought has coursed it's fragile web in my being
it's beautifu.l
.it was meant to be.
it's not scary.
it's not ugly.
it is hope of change.
.an excitment fills in the webs holes
layer by layer increasing it's strength.
.a barren cave .
now consumed with an indescribable ......
.the Lord.

This is me at age 23.

...ok I just lied this was taken a few days before I turned 23. But what the heck hey!

I had a good birthday day. I usually hate birthdays because to be honest I hype them up when i know nothing is going to happen. But i had a really good one. it was just a good day. I got up and had an eye appointment at 9:15, my eyes are still progressively getting worse. I picked out new frames and will be picking them up hopefully friday!! Then I did a couple errands liek going to the bank and buying stamps. Meanwhle I got a phone call from maia, a text from nicole, a text from rysu and a call from Ben. All wonderful birthday wishes. I went for sushi with maia, great birthday treat! then headed to school. after school i went out with me mom bought some veggies and a "healthy" cake. then i had a blast at church with some great friends learning about 1 peter, it gave me a taste of what school with my "core" friends would be like...two words...gong. show. hahaha then i was like HEY we should go to a movie. So i sped home ate some of the oddest cake i've ever had and headed to the theatre! we saw "the persuit of happyness" *mispelled on purpuse* it was pretty good! i was tired and antsy by the end though. THEN i came home and was bombarded by a number of birthday emails and messages from so many of my lovely friends. yeah it was a good day. tomorrow i'm going to celebrate it with a wee get together at corrie and natty's! i'm stoked.

I'm excited for this semester. already i feel better about it. last semester, last year, was odd. But I'm going to be more disiplined this semester, a great deal of this being in my faith. In our youth we've labeled this year the year of "change" and I pray and believe it will be.

If you don't...I'll...and then...

BAH HA...ok it's only funny to me because I just saw "a night at the museum" and there is this character who never finishes his thoughts. I relate all to well with him. ANYWHO today was crazy, if you care, I taught sunday school, went to 3/4 of the church service before booking it to work 12:30-8:30, finished closing the store oh so quickly. Changed in the staff room and busted out of that joint to meet some friends from work at Red Robins at 8:35 *it's just across the street* Had a fantabulistic time, we laugh a lot when we're together, they're crazy you'd like them! Then made a mad rush to colossus *movie theatre for my non langleyite friends* to see a night at the museum. what a great group to see this movie with, we laughed a lot. there were some LAME parts that i was like...hmm i dont like this movie right now..but i forgot them all really because i laughed so hard at other times. ANyways i'm really just rambling because i'm tired, it's been a crazy day. . . on to the next day ...which of course is my birthday! actually today is my birthday because it's 12:29! YAY happy birthday to me. . . 23 seems old to me. i know it's not but dang!

ok i'm really tired. and i have to be up for an eye exam. . . finally i'll get new glasses...i've been wearing my old ones for about a year now, my "new" ones were destroyed in a maush pit..honestly who wears glasses into a maush pit! ...why can't i speel maush pit!...DER! ..oh yes i was going to bed... peace and love my dear friends peace and love.

thoughts of a day

i've had several repetative thoughts over the last couple of days, some shallow, some funny, some exciting, some only produce more thoughts. in no particular order.

- perspective of moving to england with sarah for a while. and then to taiwan with maia to teach english **only after i finish with my degree...year and half*

- the word LIFE in matt. 6:25(or 28?!)

- the hope of one day being married

- to abandon comfort to experience the true value and meaning of Life and God in all things

- KABAZAkAK!

- I really need to get my CD put back into my car

- how good it feels to pray and journal again

- how often i completely miss the mark in many things.

- how long my hair is.

- man i love my wonder woman dayplanner

- how we're so willing to pay to clean up stanley park yet unwilling to reach out to others in need.

- how i'm ignorant when it comes to political issues and pretty much all government stuff and much of the worlds news

- that i'm almost 23.

- i have way too many odd pictures of maia and I

it's killin' me smalls!

I know i just misquoted The Sandlot because it's really YOU'RE killing me smalls. hahaha i know i'm a dork, get over it.

So what's killing me you ask?

hmmm perhaps it's my lack of adventure...I have NO trips coming up NO exciting plans for this year, oh 2007 what will you hold....*crickets*....oh really?

usually i have something pushing me with great anticipation...a trip, a visit, a journey, a great summer, relaxation, adventure...something! But alas there is nothing in sight right now. so far it's, life at school and chapters. woo woo. I want to drive to oregon, visit some of the coolest people i've had the priveledge to know...hmmmmmmmmm perhaps that's what i'll do! During spring break!! I won't pick up shifts HECK NO, i'll dump them allll....and run away!!!!!